What has been surprising to myself and my boyfriend is how social I often am. I have a larger group of friends than ever before, am fairly involved in the St. Louis pole dance and burlesque scene, and participate as often as possible in the various parties and gatherings that take place on a regular basis. I'm a member of Ladybrunch, a book club, and have a standing arrangement of weekend nachos and brunch with Alexis, when my schedule permits. Plus, I'm usually wrangling party goers at the craziness that is wedding receptions on weekends.
Just writing about it kindof exhausts me.
And that is precisely how I know that, in spite of my busy social calendar, I'm still most definitely an introvert.
I love my friends. I love that they want me to be included in plans and parties. I love going out to eat with them, going shopping with them, and hanging out with them, even if this chart accurately depicts the way I feel about most parties.
|I still love you all. Really.|
It just tires me out. And afterwards, I need to recharge.
And lately? I don't have a lot of recharging time. It's busy season at Fish Eye Fun, and I won't be slowing down until mid-November. And working weddings (and other events) takes a lot out of me. I have to be "on" and fun and friendly and excited and social. And that's not quite my usual setting, so it's sometimes exhausting. And then I try to keep up with my regular social life, and my family, as well as spending most weeknights with my boyfriend (who, being fairly introverted himself, understands and shares my occasional burnout). It adds up.
But maintaining my friendships obviously means a lot to me, because I keep making plans and showing up at parties and going on trips, even when the thought of going somewhere (particularly when there are a lot of people or I'm out of my comfort zone) can make me a little anxious.
So this is certainly not to say that I don't want you all to invite me or include me or ask if I want to go to dinner or drinks. Because I do want to.
But if I do turn down your invitation, or ghost out of a party early, or just need to be alone for a little bit on a trip, know that it's not you. I'm probably just introverting, and will return to regularly scheduled hanging out as soon as I can.
In unrelated news, it's apparently National Dog Day. So here's a picture of Thunder, who has gotten much better at being a dog lately.